On Friendship

Radio and internet podcasts make up the background of my workday.  This American Life, Snap Judgement, RadioLab, the Moth, TED Radio Hour, and various audiobooks are my playlists, as I cannot work with music playing (music quickly becomes a distraction, as I lose myself in rhythm and verses). 

This American Life publishes their weekly story online the day after it airs on the radio; as this was the first long form radio show that listened to, I typically begin my podcast week with their new episode.  One of their recent episodes, "The Perils of Intimacy", stopped me in my detail-drawing tracks.  Episodes are broken up into acts that revolve around a theme.  Act 2 is titled "Why Can't We Be Friends," and begins with a question:

"When did you last make a friend? Like, I mean an actual friend who you see regularly, you talk about actual, personal things. It's hard, right? To make a new one? To get to that point? To get through the awkward "hey, you want to hang out sometime" phase?...What is that, people? How do adults become friends?"

I stopped moving my mouse, stopped working, and looked up - this is my lived experience.  10 months ago, I moved from Texas to Georgia for my husband's work, leaving behind a deep network of my people.  As Neil Drumming who produced the episode says,"[I had] no choice but to start over." 

Alex Williams wrote a piece in 2012 for the NY Times on the challenges of making friends as an adult titled "Friends of a Certain Age: Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?" It gathered over 400 comments.  Clearly, I am not alone in my experience of befriending as an adult.  I am lucky - my starting over has resulted in beautiful, blossoming friendships with women who live at the same intersection of pop culture, politics, design, and frequent relocation.  Due to our similar unique situations, they also understand the need to quickly form deep, meaningful bonds.  Thank goodness for finding my people.