I Had a Baby
Here is her birth story.
Penelope was born on a Saturday, a week before her due date. I was on a deadline for a client meeting that Friday. My workload was pretty light, as my wonderful team was very protective of managing my stress levels and made sure I got enough rest - I was almost 39 weeks pregnant and had been going to multiple appointments over the previous week and a half for amniotic fluid bordering on being low. I had been feeling Braxton Hicks contractions for the previous weeks, but not with any regularity nor with great intensity, just my belly tightening with occasional cramps. Friday morning was different - these contractions were more around every 10 to 15 minutes, and differed from what I had felt previously. I began timing and kept working as they were still so far apart and not super painful, more like period cramps than anything else. Charles got home from work shortly after lunch, and I gave him a quick heads up on what was going on. We were not too worried, and honestly thought it was not the real thing as this was my first birth and so many moms go to the hospital only to be sent home as they were not dilated or dilated enough. During my meeting late that afternoon, contractions varied at 7 to 9 minutes apart and were slightly more painful but still tolerable. Many times I share my webcam for meetings like these, but declined to this time - I knew I looked a tired almost-39 weeks pregnant, and was grimacing every once in a while. Also, no one at work knew what was going on!
Once my meeting ended with contractions around 7 to 8 minutes apart, Charles and I were a little more convinced that this may be the real thing, or at least something to pay attention to! Contractions at this time were decidedly more intense and painful. We decided to call our parents to let them know what was going on, and purchased plane tickets for my mom to come to Georgia first thing the next day. My contractions were definitely getting more painful (although still tolerable and nowhere near their peak), and I had to take pauses from talking to my parents on the phone to walk around and squirm and bend over in pain. Soon after it was dinner time, so we ordered a margarita pizza to go from Giuseppe's for me, and a burrito bowl from Diablos; away we went to pick up our food, loading up the car with our gear just in case a trip to the hospital was needed. My contractions were decidedly more painful at this time, and I didn't leave the car at either place but instead tried to breathe through the pain while driving to food, waiting for Charles, and driving back. Back at home, we began Archer Season 8, and I ate 3/4rd of my pizza while in labor. It was delicious. Contractions were somewhere between 6 and 7 minutes - still too early to go to the hospital - and we began watching Captain America: Civil War to pass the time. I ended up watching little of the movie as these contractions were progressively more intense and painful - I would pace the house counting from one to ten and then would begin counting again, leaning on furniture, and waiting for the minute to pass.
(What do contractions feel like? It is hard to remember and put into words now, this far out and this sleep deprived. At their upper intensity, they were vividly painful and lasted for the longest 60 seconds. They would begin as a dull cramp, ramping up to a high, sharp wringing inside like nothing else I have experienced before. It is very raw and overwhelming at their long long peaks. You try to give in to the pain as best you can, but it is hard to breathe in and out.)
Charles tried his very best to convince me to go to the hospital for some pain management, as they might be able to provide some relief and I was definitely not going to get any at home - and I declined as my timing was still too far apart to be admitted. Around 1 am and about an hour into the movie I was not watching, I finally agreed.
We drove to my hospital, walked into the emergency room, signed some paperwork, and I was almost immediately seated in a wheelchair and taken up to Labor and Delivery at the Women's Center. In the triage room, I was measured at 1 or 1.5 cm dilated - WAY to early to be admitted. The nursing staff was wonderful, and reminded me to breathe through the pain during contractions, which is easier to say than do. I was hooked up to an IV and given fluid and some kind of pain medication to help with some relief - it helped, but not too much. I continued to labor at the hospital (with little sleep as contractions are painful!) and was re-evaluated after four hours at 5 am. I was 4 cm dilated and was admitted as things were moving along! At around 6 am, I was given an epidural which was wonderful. The CRNA who administered it was funny, and the epidural worked spectacularly. My time at the hospital before my epidural was 5 very long hours. I wonder what the other women in nearby rooms must have thought, as I think my laboring through contractions was loud, still counting loudly from 1 to 10 but in the hospital bed and grasping onto the side rail trying to breathe! I was finally able to doze off for a little while, in no pain, but was frequently woken by nurses coming in and out of our room.
I was not dilating quickly after being admitted, and was given a dose of pitocin to help move my labor along. However, after a brief infusion, the pitocin was stopped as Penelope's heart rate would dip relatively low every time I would have a contraction - some cause for concern. This was ultimately ok, but it was a little scary from my point of view. Charles was able to calm my fears though. Again, we were visited by our (awesome) nurse quite frequently, so Charles and I were not able to get any kind of real sleep.
At around 11 am, I was measuring at 9 cm even without the pitocin and so our nurse began to prep us for pushing and birth! We did a couple of practice pushes, which was very interesting as my lower half was completely numb. Charles and the nurse would maneuver my legs into stirrups that popped out of the bottom of the bed, and even though I could not feel anything, she directed me to lean forward, as in a crunch, and bear down while holding my breath. We practiced this a handful of times then moved me back to laying down in bed. Charles and I were so excited to be so close to having our little one. We took a last photograph (a selfie) of just the two of us, and soon the room began to fill with nursing staff wheeling in equipment. Charles had worked with my OB before, and we were all pretty excited to begin pushing and have this baby, cracking a few jokes. My legs were put back up in the stirrups, and I had a team of nurses who shouted words of encouragement for me to breathe and then hold my breath and push. I really wanted to feel some kind of connection to what was going on as I could not feel anything, so I requested a mirror which was quickly brought in. WHOA. What a view. I would start to push when a contraction would begin (my nurse would watch the fetal monitor to see when one was starting). I am actually not sure how long I was pushing for, and Charles does not recall either, but it really did not seem like that long. The whole thing actually felt very surreal - I just got down to business, we were so ready for Penelope. In the middle of pushing, I had an episiotomy - and unintentionally SAW the scissors snip away since I had the mirror. Other than the shock, I did not feel anything - thanks, epidural!
Watching Penelope's head emerge was the best feeling. I was so close to pushing her out her a couple of times, and we could all see the top of her head with hair. After one large push, she was out! It felt like...a whoosh? A slithering out? My belly quivered like jelly as it came down, and Penelope was crying! She was wiped down quickly by one of the nurses, and all I wanted was her on my chest. After a quick 30 seconds or so (which felt like an eternity), she was placed on my chest and Charles and I cried and cried together, saying "We did it. We did it." She was perfect and tiny and warm and I loved her. She moved on my chest and it was wonderful. Penny was tiny and so so sweet, with great big hands, long skinny limbs, and a champion's cry. Charles has the most beautiful photos of us from right after she was on my chest, and I am so grateful for them. There is joy and exhaustion and so much happiness on my face, with Penelope's little head and hand on me. They are some of my favorite photos ever, and I have never felt so beautiful.
Penelope stayed with me on my chest for a while. Charles and I marveled at her. I think she latched to my breast; it is hard to remember, my memories of that time are fuzzy, tired, and wonderful. My placenta was delivered by my OB, which I did not feel (again, thanks epidural!), and I asked to see it. It was round, flat, and red and I am so glad it did it's job well, although it was a little small (just like me). Our room began to empty out and soon there were just the three of us. After spending time close to me, Penelope did skin to skin time with Charles on the rocking chair in our room - I am so glad he was able to do this. He held her close, both of them wrapped in a blanket. It was so peaceful and lovely. Charles was immediately such a good, protective, wonderful father, and it was so overwhelming and good to see him turn into a doting dad. I cherish this sweet time with just the three of us.
My mom arrived from Texas a couple of hours after Penelope was born. She was dropped off at the hospital by one of our good friends, Kristine, and both cried when they saw her.
After a couple of hours, Penelope was cleaned and measured by one of our awesome nurses, Bob. Our baby was tiny but long. We love her dearly.
